300 pound male verses 120 pound female… who wins?

Forums General Rare Faith Forum (public) The Laws The Law of Cause and Effect 300 pound male verses 120 pound female… who wins?

This topic contains 4 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  bearknudsen 9 years ago.

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  • #1685

    bearknudsen
    Participant

    Okay- so I don’t think it is a matter of who wins- we both should. But in this case- did either of us win?

    Today was filled with interesting circumstances for which I am so grateful to learn from. Perhaps you can fill me in with some insights to help me think clearly.

    Facts. Took van in to get a quote for repairs. Spent several (very fun) hours with twins at the park while we wait. Temperature today: 105. The shade felt very good and am even more grateful for air conditioning… okay- so I’ve added a tint of positive to that remark 😉

    Fact. When we return to pick up the van they didn’t do the quote. They checked my parking brake and told me it worked fine. I should bring the van back another day to have it inspected.

    Fact. I leave in my van to go home. A few miles down the road I look back to see smoke. I drive back to mechanics.

    Fact. I told them before I left that the parking break had issues with not disengaging

    Feeling… I don’t think these men are listening to anything I am saying.

    Fact. 300 pound man verbally rips into me for driving around an unsafe vehicle for about 3-5 minutes.

    Fact. I stand up taller, more confident, and tell him he is right. It is absolutely unsafe and I will not be driving the vehicle again until they have fixed it. He does not need to continue berating me. I get the point. (feeling… as if i didn’t already know this… I’ve been keeping an unbelievably great pma about my vehicle situation but just about now if I’m not careful i’ll break down into tears… no-i’m stronger than that. I hold my ground.) (feeling… if I were my husband’s 6 foot 4″ would I be spoken to this way? Even on the same issue?)

    Fact. Our other vehicle in for repairs was finished being worked on though we have only paid for half. They reluctantly let me take the pickup. Fact. I buckle both carseats in. Fact. I drive home using 1st, 3rd, and 5th gears because carseats are in my way. Can I laugh now! This story is just too funny! I arrive home, frazzled and safe.

    Help- any insights. I know I must have some underlying issues because I can feel it – I just don’t know what they are. I feel like maybe I should have handled it differently and would like to know how. What principles apply if any? Clarity anyone?

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  • #6565

    bearknudsen
    Participant

    okay- wow!!! Thank you for taking the time to respond!!! I am going to chew on this for a bit- I think you’ve really nailed it… My radar does know! both 1 and 2 are true. hmmm… I’m reading Leadership and Self-Deception currently and now that you point this out and from what I have read- aha! What a coincidence that I will be writing an article on cause and effect this weekend… I didn’t know what I’d write about until now.

    Thank you again for your well written, insightful, and kind response! I am feeling blessed to receive such insights! Thank you!!!

  • #6563

    AlisaH
    Participant

    Okay, I re-read your post and saw that you are feeling some underlying issues so I decided to take my answer a little deeper.

    I’m not sure if you are familiar with Byron Katie’s “The Work,” but the main idea is that nothing really happens outside of us — it’s all really happening inside of us. So part of The Work is doing what’s called a turnaround. So instead of asking “Why didn’t he respect me?” the turnaround questions for you to ask yourself (and usually at least one of these will resonate with you pretty strongly):

    1. Why didn’t I respect him?
    2. Why don’t I respect myself?

    Maybe even though you acted in a kind and respectful way (which definitely says a lot about your character), maybe your thoughts of him were not respectful – after all, they were the idiots that sent you on your way when the car wasn’t safe to drive;)! Or maybe you were beating yourself up about it and not being respectful to yourself.

    So that feeling that there are some underlying issues is really your internal radar letting you know that there is a false belief that needs to be addressed. Nothing was wrong — in fact, everything worked exactly the way it should have!

    PS – That’s also what makes it cause and effect — your thought or belief was the cause, and the incident was the effect! Change the cause (thought/belief) and you will get a different effect!

  • #6562

    AlisaH
    Participant

    I think the fact that you could laugh about it is definitely a good sign;)!

    My first thought is that when we start having cars break down, etc — it usually means something great financially is on the way IF we can hold onto truth instead of believing the appearance. This happened to us several years ago, and our car repairs wiped out our savings account. Right about the same time we went to hear Leslie speak on the Stickman and we wanted to sign up for her Science of Getting Rich seminar, but we had just spent all our money on car repairs.

    My faith was too weak to commit to the seminar, but thankfully my husband saw things differently and we signed up. At the seminar we realized that we really wanted to move back to Texas. The seminar was at the end of March — by the end of May we had two job offers significantly higher than what my husband was making, with bonus, 401(k), stock grants, complete relocation packages, etc. We figured that our total compensation that first year (including the relocation package) was double what we had made the previous year.

    Now I can’t imagine how differently things would have turned out if I had been too afraid to spend the money for the seminar.

    Now when a lot of expenses wipe out our savings account (which happened again this summer — and again another opportunity came up for me to invest in my future — this time I was able to move ahead with a lot more faith because of our previous experiences), I know something amazing is coming! But it can only come as long as I hold onto the belief and keep moving forward! (If we hadn’t attended the seminar in 2006, then we would not have gotten the amazing job offers).

    So, anyway… I know this wasn’t your original question, but my first thought with all this happening was: I wonder what amazing opportunities are coming her way!

    I don’t know how you could have handled the situation any differently. One thing I know: when people are afraid, they act like jerks! I think he was afraid because he could see that he told you the brake was okay when it clearly was NOT okay. I think he was afraid of what could have happened and took it out on you.

    I’m proud of you for standing up to him! You will need to ponder it to see all the lessons you get out of this experience, but one thing I got out of this was remembering that there will always be people who will mistreat you. That is part of life. We can’t control how others will treat us, but we can ALWAYS choose how we will react to them! I love how you chose to be kind and respectful even when you weren’t being treated that way — I think that reveals a lot about your character. We can think we are kind and respectful, but when someone is unkind and disrespectful to us, and we respond with kindness and respect, then we KNOW we are kind and respectful. Maybe you needed to KNOW that about yourself yesterday!

  • #6564

    bearknudsen
    Participant

    okay- sorry- i thought this had to do with the cause and effect principle but reading through my post now I fail to see why I thought thay… hmm?

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