Overcoming criticism

This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Leslie 11 years, 10 months ago.

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  • #666

    Violet
    Participant

    Well things have been great. There has been many road bumps along the way. I think the last time I emailed you, I mentioned that a MLM opportunity has presented itself. We're putting all we have into it and working hard. Things are just getting better, but I have to say I'm having the hardest time dealing with the criticism. I think the hardest part about it is it's coming from those that are closest to us, our family. I really wouldn't mind if it was constructive criticism and they voice their opinions, but at the same time show their support. It's not that way at all. They talk about us behind our backs and we're hearing a lot of things. I try to brush it off, but I honestly am having the hardest time staying focused and I find myself getting very defensive. My husband deals with it well and tries to help me out, but there are times when I want to scream at all of them. 🙂 Can you give me any advice?

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  • #2054

    Leslie
    Keymaster

    We felt the most criticism and mocking when we first began to live according to the principles we had just learned. Inside we felt wealthy, but to our friends and family, we looked like idiots.

    The changes always happen inside before they manifest outside, and there is that period of time between the two when you'll look the most nutso. To them you look like a dog chasing thin air... they just don't see your rabbit and you can't blame them for thinking you look crazy. The fact is, you do!

    If they criticize, that is all the more reason why you must press forward. You must show them by example what a change in thinking can do. In time they will see the changes, and it is important that you not spite them or snub them or make them feel like you look down on them, so that when you have the fruit on the tree they will without hesitation begin to ask you how you did it... knowing that you love and accept them no matter what.

    The tougher you have it during that interim period, the greater the rewards will be on the other side. Remember that people don't like to be left behind. Whether they realize it or not, deep down I believe they sense you're moving on to a better life, and it's a natural reaction to try to pull you back.

    Perhaps you've heard of the bucket of lobsters (or is it crabs? can't remember)... anyway, the fishermen do not need to put lids on the buckets, even though the lobsters are capable of climbing out.

    So long as there are multiple lobsters in the buckets, the others will always make sure none of them get out because they constantly pull each other down.

    John Gray teaches that whenever you get something that you don't want, instead of fussing about it and adding energy to it, determine what the flip side of it would look like and focus your thoughts on what you DO want. For example, if he gets pulled over by a cop, as the cop walks to his car, instead of fretting with the thoughts, "Oh, I don't want a ticket... please, don't give me a ticket..." he instead thinks, "Oh how I'd love to have a warning... please, let me get a warning..." and this has worked for him time and time again.

    So in your case, you're well practiced at being upset about their criticism, now start imagining how it would be to have their unconditional love and support. No matter what their behavior is, put more energy toward the images of the relationship the way you want it to be. This is where your imagination will serve you better than your physical senses.

    For more on how to do that, watch the stickman video.

    Don't give up!

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