You can’t worry enough…

Forums General Rare Faith Forum (public) The Laws The Law of Relativity You can’t worry enough…

This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  AngieDixon 11 years ago.

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  • #1237


    Alisa told me months ago, “You can’t worry enough to fix a problem.”

    I’ve been trying to remember that this last week in dealing with my mother’s situation. The story I got from one sibling (there are 6 of “us”) was that “they” (meaning oldest siblings) had traded Mom’s house for a plot of land and trailer next to my brother, that “they” were moving her stuff out of the house, and that she was upset and “determined to be unhappy.”

    Well, YEAH! My siblings think Mom is senile and treat her like a baby. That upsets her and she acts less together than she acts with me.

    The same sibling said the oldest sibling claimed to have “talked to everyone.” She didn’t even try to call me; I have Caller ID on all my phones and she didn’t call me.

    I have been unable to reach Mom because her phone was disconnected, I don’t know where she lives now, and no one was parting with any information. I couldn’t reach anyone who might know and whom I was willing to speak with.

    So I let it go & prayed & made plans to have her sign a new power of attorney if she felt my siblings had tricked her or forced her into anything. Nothing I could do about the situation.

    Finally, this morning I found out her phone was reconnected at the new place, and we had a good talk. While the oldest did NOT call me as she claimed, the situation was far different than it was represented.

    My oldest sister can be fairly bossy, and Mom may well have been upset about that. But she was involved in the decision to get out of her house, which she hated. She wanted to move, and likes her place. It needs some improvements, but it’s far better than where she was, and she is happy that my sister did not “put” her in assisted living, which is what she (sister) has indicated she would really like to do.

    Overall, the situation is much better. She’s no longer driving, which she’s okay with. The trailer is nice, she says, and she has already figured out where her craft area can go so she’ll have a place for that & won’t have to put everything away (as she did when it was on the kitchen table). She’s glad to be okay after her wreck, grateful for the help from my brother and his girlfriend to move, and basically content.

    And I’m much relieved that everything is better than I was told it was. The thing is, my family as a rule is so very negative, you can’t really believe anything they say. And if it’s what one sibling said to another sibling, probably almost none of it is true by the time it gets through their filters.

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  • #4777


    Thanks. My mother is 82, and while she does have knee problems, she gets around and does a lot of stuff, mostly crafts and some baking still. She wanted to move, but she wanted to be on her own, which she still is, but with my brother next door.

    My oldest sister is not a bad person, but she always has to have things the worst possible way they could be, so she can worry and stress and fret. She wanted Mom near her, and the only “assisted living” facility in that town is actually a nursing home that calls itself assisted living. Here, assisted living facilities offer one or two bedroom apartments, with a kitchen if you want to cook. You can eat in the main dining room, or not. They offer a bus to go to Wal-Mart, etc., but they’re focused on independence. Mom would have accepted that, but did not want to move to the city.

    What my sister was proposing was a “studio” apartment in this “assisted living” facility. In my experience, a “studio apartment” where you have to eat in the dining room because there is no kitchen is called “a room.” 🙂 Mom wanted more space, so she could do crafts. She was convinced she would go mad and die in one room.

    While I didn’t know what exactly was going on, I just tried to picture her having at least two rooms, and setting up her crafts and being happy with her new space. And she is.

    I am going to talk to her about putting my phone number and name in her wallet, so that if something happens in future she can make sure someone outside the family contacts me.

    At this point, I don’t have any idea what portion of the stories from siblings were true and what not, and I don’t even really care. My focus is on making sure she can get news to me directly in the future. I was concerned that she thought I knew exactly what was going on and just wasn’t contacting her. She said she didn’t think that at all, but we agreed to make sure I get more info in the future.

  • #4776


    Hi Angie I am so glad everything worked out well for your mother. John and I care for his mother she will be 98 in September.

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