Alisa told me months ago, “You can’t worry enough to fix a problem.”
I’ve been trying to remember that this last week in dealing with my mother’s situation. The story I got from one sibling (there are 6 of “us”) was that “they” (meaning oldest siblings) had traded Mom’s house for a plot of land and trailer next to my brother, that “they” were moving her stuff out of the house, and that she was upset and “determined to be unhappy.”
Well, YEAH! My siblings think Mom is senile and treat her like a baby. That upsets her and she acts less together than she acts with me.
The same sibling said the oldest sibling claimed to have “talked to everyone.” She didn’t even try to call me; I have Caller ID on all my phones and she didn’t call me.
I have been unable to reach Mom because her phone was disconnected, I don’t know where she lives now, and no one was parting with any information. I couldn’t reach anyone who might know and whom I was willing to speak with.
So I let it go & prayed & made plans to have her sign a new power of attorney if she felt my siblings had tricked her or forced her into anything. Nothing I could do about the situation.
Finally, this morning I found out her phone was reconnected at the new place, and we had a good talk. While the oldest did NOT call me as she claimed, the situation was far different than it was represented.
My oldest sister can be fairly bossy, and Mom may well have been upset about that. But she was involved in the decision to get out of her house, which she hated. She wanted to move, and likes her place. It needs some improvements, but it’s far better than where she was, and she is happy that my sister did not “put” her in assisted living, which is what she (sister) has indicated she would really like to do.
Overall, the situation is much better. She’s no longer driving, which she’s okay with. The trailer is nice, she says, and she has already figured out where her craft area can go so she’ll have a place for that & won’t have to put everything away (as she did when it was on the kitchen table). She’s glad to be okay after her wreck, grateful for the help from my brother and his girlfriend to move, and basically content.
And I’m much relieved that everything is better than I was told it was. The thing is, my family as a rule is so very negative, you can’t really believe anything they say. And if it’s what one sibling said to another sibling, probably almost none of it is true by the time it gets through their filters.
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