#17: When a Mentor Fails You (and why it's good)

Everyone is human - including the mentors you have looked to and listened to for advice and guidance. Listen to this powerful exploration of what it can mean to you when this happens, and what good can be gleaned from such a difficult experience. Show Notes: Mentoring relationships can last as long as one comment, or many many years. There comes a point where the purpose of the mentoring relationship is fulfilled. Most of the time the moving on process is gradual, and painless, other times it can be bitter. How I felt about Bob Proctor before mentoring with him Why the Jackrabbit Factor was born What I wrote to Bob after we moved into our dream home and I became a best seller So nervous, spilled his water when I gave him my book Feeling awkward Why we hired him Feeling strange after an event I put on, felt like I had been hit by a truck Sought Bob’s insight into what I was feeling Never responded Triggers, old fears Found help and support from an ex-partner of Bob’s Other factors contributed to my anger How I feel when I am expecting A mentor kicking you when you’re down Turning every bad thing to our good Stopped needing to get Bob’s approval or partnership Recognizing when a relationship was toxic Tables turned on me, showing me how Bob may have felt What kind of energy do you show up with? You don’t get what you want, you get what you are Life responds differently when you have changed on the inside Words are noise, vibrations never lie Wrote a letter, but didn’t need a reply His response - the first time he showed me his human side A year later, his surprise birthday message Common thread: 1 - Aspire to become greater 2 - Teacher appears 3 - Emotional attachment 4 - Learns all that was needed, but keeps wanting support 5 - Relationship becomes strained 6 - Conflict 7 - Heals and moves on, discovers 8 - Becomes leader, gets to experience other side 9 - Mutual respect established You are responsible for you Don’t defame Not endorsing abuse Look at everyone with compassion Mentor failing by divine design, pushes us out of the tree so we can learn to fly Sometimes the pain is what helps the separation become tolerable Conflict means two points of view, often both valid Sometimes it’s better to live in forgiveness than to constantly fight for justice trying to make things right, when they probably already are as right as they need to be, and that those adjustments are internal that need to take place more than internal. Not judging people for what they do because you don’t know why they do it